Let us preface this story with one thing that you may or may not already know. People are stupid.

Early one Thursday morning, a man was robbed while making a delivery at a Taco Bell in Macon, Georgia.

At 5 AM in the morning, two geniuses men dressed in black came out of the woods behind the Macon, Georgia Taco Bell. One was carrying a pistol and the other carried a rifle, according to a police report. The men demanded that the deliveryman open the safe, but he did not have the combination. They finally decided to take his wallet and leave.

Its pretty crappy that we live in a kind of world where things like this happen and all that, but we’re here to take you on a journey. We’re here to guide you through what, logically, had to have been their thought process.

It all started with two people deciding that they needed money. After wading through the obvious ideas like jobs, loans and eBay, they somehow decided robbery was a viable option. Realizing they needed weapons to carry out their master plan, they scrounged up the only weapons they had: a pistol and a rifle.

At some point just before the delivery guy arrived, one guy asked the other why he got to carry the rifle. Possible answers to this question include:
“because I’m older than you,”
“because robbing Taco Bell was my idea,” and
“because I’m the one that got the guns from my dad’s gun cabinet,”

Finally, the delivery guy arrives at the Taco Bell and the two men approach him. When the delivery guy broke the news that he couldn’t open the safe, they demanded his wallet.

All of this planning and effort netted the two men 10 dollars in cash, debit cards they can never use and a 4 year old condom.

People are stupid.

So, there are these two kids, right. So they decide they want to do some drugs. Not only do they want to do some drugs, including marijuana and heroin, but they decide that they want to do these drugs in a car, in a parking lot. Being the intelligent kids that they are, they decide that it would be a great idea to do these drugs, in their car, in a Taco Bell parking lot in Solomons, Maryland. On top of all of these great decisions already, they also decided to do it at 8 in the evening.

James Smith arrested arrested Derek Craig Bradley, 20, and Brandon Angelo Meredith, 19. Office Smith also found a spoon and homemade burner that could potentially be used to prepare the controlled substance heroin. They were both charged with possession of marijuana and possession with intent to use drug paraphernalia.

Seriously, though. If you’re going to do something stupid and illegal don’t do it in a well trafficked area before its even completely dark outside.

A 23-year-old man was arrested on charges of lewd and lascivious molestation, lewd exhibition and false imprisonment after following a child into a Taco Bell bathroom and exposing himself.

Brian Lowery followed the 4-year-old victim into the bathroom around 2PM on Tuesday. Witnesses followed them both in and found Lowery “performing a lewd act on the child” which could mean just about anything. Lowery is being held without bond in the Orient Road Jail in Plant City.

[Via MyFox Tampa Bay]